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Old 01-14-2020, 10:01 AM   #11
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Default Re: "The strong give up and move on"

Mods please close this thread. Itís not beneficial for me. Thanks.
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Old 01-14-2020, 10:06 AM   #12
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And I recall doc johnís words: ďrespect the OPís requests. And what theyíre looking for when they post.Ē
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Old 01-14-2020, 10:14 AM   #13
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I wasn't trying to undermine you in any way, Have Hope. I just wanted to offer some suggestions as you search so you can find a great new workplace, because I DO support your leaving, and I didn't want you to find yourself in a bad environment again. I think you can tend to be overly positive about situations because you want them to be great places so badly. Like with your current place, it seems you've given them the benefit of the doubt so many times but you've finally decided enough is enough. So I just wanted to offer some ideas to help weed out the bad as you start this new journey. Sorry if that was a buzzkill.

No one here is trying to make you feel bad. We all want the best for you. Hope you can see that.
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Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

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Old 01-14-2020, 10:17 AM   #14
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Don't give up, Have Hope. You're doing SO well!

Misunderstandings occur (this is the internet, and we are all sensitive people) but don't let it add to your despair.

As a member who was brought to my knees by a miserable workplace, I applaud your decision.

No offence to the others on this thread. I know, for instance, that Seesaw has had work issues in the past. But in Have Hope's situation, it might be a case of if you haven't experienced it, you can't understand it.
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Old 01-14-2020, 10:33 AM   #15
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Thank you both. I greatly appreciate the support! Iím at work so I canít type very much.
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Old 01-14-2020, 12:20 PM   #16
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Have Hope, I don't think resurgam's responses were unsupportive. resurgam took the time to offer their opinion based on their own personal experience with toxic work environments. I found their post very respectful of your feelings. That's the beauty of community; the diversity of voices. Not every voice looks or sounds the same. Why should it? If you only want people to tell you what you want to hear, how does that help you grow? Diversity is what makes the world a unique place.

I know with online forums, it's easy to misinterpret context. I agree with resurgam's interpretation of that phrase because I view toxic work environments that way too. Does that mean I don't support you? Absolutely not. What it means is, if I leave a toxic environment, it's only because everything I tried to do to make positive changes has failed, so leaving is both the last resort and best option.

If you don't want opinions, then posting may not be a good activity for you. Because, when you post a thread on any public forum, people with diverse opinions will respond. How do you respond to people in your offline life, when you ask them for advice and they give you an opinion that you disagree with, or feel is unsupportive? Online, you can put that member on ignore until your feelings cool off. But, I do worry that your not managing your expectations well by expecting anyone who responds, to only tell you what you want to hear. If you open yourself up to the that you can choose to not respond to people's posts you take offense or, or disagree with, without confronting them, then I think you will feel more relaxed about posting. Use the ignore button. That's what it's here for.
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Old 01-14-2020, 12:22 PM   #17
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I just donít want to feel defensive and I got defensive. I appreciate both your last replies @seesaw and @purple, Violet,Blue.

Iím typically very self critical as it is, and Iíve been very down on myself lately. I come on here for support, to feel validated and reassured. Thatís all Iím looking for.

I feel good about my decision to leave my company. Once I realized that the CEO himself is a bad leader, I realized thereís too many battles to fight in my current work environment to truly succeed there. And theyíre failing as a company. The writing is on the wall.

I found a Director level role for which I qualify and will apply! Iím excited about the prospect of leAving. And most certainly I will apply any lessons learned going forward.

Thanks again you two. I really do appreciate the kindness.
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Old 01-14-2020, 12:26 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
And I recall doc johnís words: ďrespect the OPís requests. And what theyíre looking for when they post.Ē
Ah, well resurgam did respect your request. But you disagree with resurgam. That's the difference. resurgam didn't post intentionally to hurt your feelings.

I don't think there was any misunderstanding. I think it's unrealistic to preface your threads with, "I'm only looking for support." Not everyone's views will align with yours and not everyone's going to agree with your approach to problems, in their effort to offer you their approach to your problem, which could be different. Different doesn't mean bad.

Creativity in problem solving requires diversity. If everyone tried to solve the problem the same way, the problem can't get solved. Does that make sense? When communities come together to solve a problem, everyone has input. Some of that input is relevant and helpful and some may not be. But, brainstorming ways to solve a problem in small or large groups, often means there will be a lot of different opinions. And different opinions offer broader perspectives.
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Old 01-14-2020, 12:28 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche View Post
Have Hope, I don't think resurgam's responses were unsupportive. resurgam took the time to offer their opinion based on their own personal experience with toxic work environments. I found their post very respectful of your feelings. That's the beauty of community; the diversity of voices. Not every voice looks or sounds the same. Why should it? If you only want people to tell you what you want to hear, how does that help you grow? Diversity is what makes the world a unique place.

I know with online forums, it's easy to misinterpret context. I agree with resurgam's interpretation of that phrase because I view toxic work environments that way too. Does that mean I don't support you? Absolutely not. What it means is, if I leave a toxic environment, it's only because everything I tried to do to make positive changes has failed, so leaving is both the last resort and best option.

If you don't want opinions, then posting may not be a good activity for you. Because, when you post a thread on any public forum, people with diverse opinions will respond. How do you respond to people in your offline life, when you ask them for advice and they give you an opinion that you disagree with, or feel is unsupportive? Online, you can put that member on ignore until your feelings cool off. But, I do worry that your not managing your expectations well by expecting anyone who responds, to only tell you what you want to hear. If you open yourself up to the that you can choose to not respond to people's posts you take offense or, or disagree with, without confronting them, then I think you will feel more relaxed about posting. Use the ignore button. That's what it's here for.
Please read the guidelines again. And please re-read my prior posts.

I did not ask for opinions, or for constructive criticism.

This is not just a public forum like reddit. Itís a mental health forum foremost. I did not ask for unsolicited opinions. I come here looking for SUPPORT AND VALIDATION.

doc John has stated that everyone needs to respect the OPís requests for what kind of support they seek.

I am going to request to close this thread. Thank you to those who have been supportive.
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Old 01-14-2020, 01:07 PM   #20
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Thread closed by OP request. Please remember that this is a support community and to honor an OPís wishes about what they want from a thread.

Last edited by atisketatasket; 01-14-2020 at 01:43 PM..
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