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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,081
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#1
It hit me last night and HARD: I am very unhappy.
Work has finally gotten to me - there are far too many battles to fight there, there's too much of an uphill battle for me to even get ahead, the leadership is seriously lacking throughout the company, and that is causing issues for me in more ways than one. A friend noticed that I am not myself. I was out last night, and I could barely crack a smile to say hello. The latest is that internally as a team, we are each going in different directions on this one client account I am in fact in charge of. I am herding cattle, trying to get everyone on the same page, and it's impossible. My account manager is trying to take over the direction we go in, when I have differing thoughts and ideas, and when I am the one who is supposed to set the direction, not her. I am trying to take leadership, but she is also trying to take the helm. It won't work that way. We are internally in conflict, and that is no good. So I have to initiate a pow-pow today to speak about this as a team so as to all get on the same page before our client call this afternoon. I've already spoken to my team manager, who backed me on my thoughts and direction for the account. I made it clear to him yesterday that I want to be on the same page with him when we get on the next client call. Otherwise, we look like total disorganized idiots who don't talk to one another. So now it's account management that is giving me issues. And I am working very hard not to lose this one client to a competitor, which is very possible. I just don't understand why my account manager is trying to take over. Her role is client relations, not directing strategy. And she's trying to direct the next steps with this client, which is my job. And yesterday she tried to tell me how to do my job. She tried to tell me that I shouldn't redo work that's already been done by a former colleague who was on this account before me. I told her that it's necessary to redo the work because his work is now too old to be relevant, that I am responsible now for the client's success and have a different approach than my colleague, and that it must be redone. I almost snapped at her because I was so annoyed. I am pretty sure my annoyance showed. It's my boss's job to say that to me, IF that's the case. NOT hers. It's not her place. And the truth of the matter is: My client did not implement ANY of my former colleague's work. So why is that? I looked at it myself, and my conclusion was that he didn't simplify it enough for them to understand it so that they COULD implement it easily. I had already said this to account management when I first got on the account. I am SO done with this place. WHY is she telling me how to do my job? And WHY is she trying to get old/past work implemented NOW, when clearly the client didn't respond to any of that work that was done and it clearly did not resonate for the client. Last week, it was my team manager who was yelling at me. I cannot take this anymore. I go to work, I do my work, I take leadership of all my accounts, and they're all doing great. All my clients are happy with my work and with me. I am the only one on my whole team who has retained all their clients, and I want to keep it that way. Vent over. This place sucks. I am very unhappy. It's making me absolutely MISERABLE. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Jan 30, 2020 at 07:33 AM.. |
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guilloche, Turtle_Rider
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Member Since Sep 2015
Location: N/A
Posts: 13,242
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#2
I understand that. My current manager also did the same to our team.
If you are too miserable to be here, maybe you should search a new one. Have you considered about quitting? |
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Have Hope
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divine1966, Have Hope
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,081
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6 3,626 hugs
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#3
Argh! I’m sorry you’re facing something similar!
No I cannot quit I am definitely job hunting!!! __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,081
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6 3,626 hugs
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#4
Today I have a big presentation to give in front of one of my clients. The client's CEO will be in the room, and my boss's boss will be in the room. We're traveling to the client's location so I can give this presentation. There is so much pressure on me to try and keep this client account. If they don't accept my proposal. it's possible we may lose them as a client. If I lose a client, then my job could be in jeopardy.
There's far too much pressure on me right now -- I'm going nuts. Not only that, but I have to travel by car for an hour there and back with teammates. I would much rather drive alone. I am going to snap one of these days. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Open Eyes, unaluna
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
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#5
How did it go today Hope?
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Have Hope
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,081
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6 3,626 hugs
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#6
It went amazingly well! My client loved my proposal, they’re totally on board with it and it looks like they’ll continue working with us, so I’ve successfully retained my client! Great news! I’m so relieved!
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Open Eyes, unaluna
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Open Eyes
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,081
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6 3,626 hugs
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#7
Although that meeting went well, every day at work is a massive headache and chore.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Open Eyes
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,081
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,626 hugs
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#8
I had to stand up for myself YET again today. This place is making me insane. Everyone on one of my client accounts was taking over, no one was talking to ME, the one who is supposed to be in charge of the direction, so I had to speak up today. It all got resolved via an intervention from my boss, but still. I cannot take this much longer.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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New Member
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: ca
Posts: 1
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#9
Hey there, I am so sorry to hear about your depression I totally understand how you feel as I have suffered from this for a long time.
It’s actually embarrassing as none of my friends or family have ever had the same issue. I would love to help you and tell you what I did to help me get over this fear. I tried many different things and none worked as well! I actually came across a video on YouTube that I watched and her story resonated with me really well. all the best! Last edited by CANDC; Feb 05, 2020 at 10:32 PM.. Reason: remove broken link |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,081
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,626 hugs
given |
#10
I can’t fight this battle anymore. I have to fight to be heard and respected. I’m thoroughly depressed. I’m staring at my computer screen blankly. It’s debilitating depression.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,081
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,626 hugs
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#11
Guess no one is replying. =(
I am DEPRESSED. Work is making me INSANE and MISERABLE.
Possible trigger:
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by bluekoi; Feb 05, 2020 at 08:12 PM.. Reason: Add triggger icon. Apply trigger code. |
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,210
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#12
I am reading your posts. I am just not sure I have much advice. I was in a really toxic work situation, as I know I have mentioned in the past. In my case, I was able to get leave for stress. They fired me with severance when I returned from leave. Although they seemed to be trying to get me to quit, I didn’t since I would not have gotten paid that money and would have found myself in a much worse situation. I have asked myself a few times it sticking it out was worth it. The whole situation took a huge toll on my physical and mental health. I am finally starting to feel like myself again.
I know that you feel like quitting isn’t an option, but have you fully crunched the numbers with your husband? Could you do some temping, freelancing or anything else to bring in money while you look for a new job? It sounds like things are bad enough that staying there is causing your mental health to deteriorate. If quitting is really not possible, could you take some sort of paid or unpaid leave to at least get some space from the situation? And, if you are really feeling suicidal, PLEASE talk to your therapist or pdoc or find help in some other way. A job is not worth harming yourself over. |
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Have Hope
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Have Hope
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,081
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,626 hugs
given |
#13
Quote:
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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