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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,100
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#1
Had lunch with my CEO who laid me off, and he hit on me.
I politely declined and said no, but I still need his good reference. I am upset though. More corruption on the part of my old company. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Legendary Wise Elder
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#2
Ouch, isn’t he married?
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,100
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6 3,628 hugs
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#3
Yes!!!!!!! Very unhappily married!!!!!!
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Legendary Wise Elder
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#4
Is it the same guy you shared your marital problems with? I wonder if he assumed it meant you are available for his advances? What the....
Years ago I had my boss hitting on me. I was clueless at first. Took me a minute to understand what he wanted. Couple of years later he had an affair with someone and he used company’s funds to conduct his affair (complicated story), he was fired. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,100
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6 3,628 hugs
given |
#5
Yes it is. And today he asked me how things were going at home, and I said "great!" but that I am waiting for the other shoe to fall. Maybe he took that as an opening. GEEZ!!!!!!!!!! I did not realize that by sharing my marital issue that that would mean he would take it as a way in!!!!! I was simply sharing for the sake of sharing, because we had been relatively close previously.
Is this my fault???? __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,100
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6 3,628 hugs
given |
#6
Ok. like I am going to just UNLOAD.
My CEO fired the Director above me right when I was hired, and right after the Director had had a heart attack. Then a multitude of slippery stuff went on, including the fact that I was supposed to LIE to clients, coming from the CEO himself. My boss tried to get me fired and undermined my success, because he was threatened by me. Another colleague blatantly STOLE my work in front of me, claiming it was HERS on a client call THAT I WAS ON!!!!!!!!!! And now that I have been laid off, the CEO invited me to his private cottage........ WTF??????????????????????????????????????? __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Legendary Wise Elder
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Location: US
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#7
I don’t think it’s your fault. We know a lot of personal things about a lot of people at work as we are like a family but that doesn’t mean it’s an invitation to ask people out. Now you don’t work together so if you were both single it would be fine for him to ask. But you both married what’s he thinking!
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Location: US
Posts: 22,428
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#8
Hm did he say “come alone” or was he maybe implying to come with your husband? Just trying to understand his crazy thinking
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,100
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#9
That’s a great point - thanks!
He asked me and not me and my husband together. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 422
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#10
No, it's not your fault. Honestly I try not to share my marital problems with the opposite sex but that is no excuse for someone to try and manipulate you.
There are honest ethical bosses out there. They are hard to find, though, unfortunately. I'm sorry you went through that. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,100
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#11
Thanks Guy. I appreciate your support. I needed a reality check to see if I invited this. I don’t normally talk about my life problems at work, but we had a friend- like rapport. I should not have confided in him. Lesson learned. He took that as an opening. NOT. He’s slippery.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Legendary
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#12
Don’t get mad at me, but when you mentioned you were forming a close personal relationship with him, I got my spidey sense that there may be trouble coming from it. Gosh, I’ve just seen human nature at its worst, I guess. I was a little surprised nobody here said anything about it as a red flag. Sorry if this upsets you, but you asked for honesty.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,100
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6 3,628 hugs
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#13
@TishaBuv, thanks and I’m not angry. Like I said I should not have confided in him. I should have seen it coming. I know better. I guess I felt very alone with my feelings. I needed to talk about it and chose the wrong person. Lesson learned. No matter how hard it is to keep it inside, best not to confide like that in colleagues. I suppose unless true trust has been established. I did trust him on a personal level though for some reason. He was always candid with me.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Legendary
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#14
He’s the one who crossed the line. He’s an unscrupulous person. It’s best to be out of that toxic environment. Interesting how he fired you then hit on you...
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,100
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#15
Quote:
But yes, he is unscrupulous and crossed the line. It was very toxic in a multitude of ways. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Legendary
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Location: USA
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#16
Sorry, I didn’t know the difference.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,100
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6 3,628 hugs
given |
#17
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Legendary
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#18
I don’t have much knowledge about that
But I think it’s strange that you got close to him, both confided in marital issues, then you get laid off and he has lunch with and hits on you. It seems to me like one action could have been a result of the other. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,100
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6 3,628 hugs
given |
#19
Quote:
I suspect foul play, yes, but for different reasons having to do with my toxic boss and manager, both of whom I knew felt threatened by my mere existence because I carry a lot more industry knowledge than either of them. I believe they set me up for failure and then complained when I said I could not complete a task that they handed to me (that they KNEW was beyond my abilities). It is my belief that they did that on purpose, and set me up to fail and set me up to be let go. The reason I believe this is because this went down only days before I was laid off. And there had been a series of issues and complaints that I had made to HR about both of them, so I was stirring up the pot so to speak and I think I became problematic for them. However, the CEO and HR really liked me as a person and on a professional level otherwise, so I think that's why I was "laid off" and given severance pay instead of fired for not completing that one project. My performance had been stellar otherwise. The CEO I think simply took advantage of an opportunity at lunch to extend an overture towards me, ie, by inviting me to his private cottage, because the opportunity arose. I suspect he may have always harbored some feelings for me because even in the beginning when I first began working there, he would come by my desk to chit chat, but to no one else's desk. He would frequently talk to me, and not many of the other employees. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,210
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9 1,875 hugs
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#20
Private cottage... It does wreak of you were set up. You handled it all gracefully, though, and come away with money and glowing recommendations.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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