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Pavlov's Cat
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Default Aug 19, 2020 at 08:58 AM
  #1
I have always been a procrastinator.
My psychiatrist says that with my self talk he's not surprised I don't bother doing anything. I did a bit of CBT for all kinds of thoughts but I never kept it up for various reasons, therapy being interrupted, picking the wrong kind of therapist, etc.

When it came to looking for work I
tended to procrastinate and get stressed by job search because I didn't have any real qualifications, and I have social anxiety disorder.

So I just stumbled from one day to the next for years, doing temp work mostly. I worked in an office for a couple of years.

A lot of the time I was unemployed and avoiding looking for work because I saw nothing but dead ends. I have social phobia, so I felt a dead end job as a cleaner or labourer in my 20s would mean work and little else.

I regret not sitting down and making some sort of plan when I was younger, maybe joining the army or something. At least that would be respectable, and I could have made friends and met women.

Instead I'd just look for a couple of jobs online, then procrastinate by watching TV or playing a video game.

Eventually I became a hypochondriac so I was unable to work or uninterested in work, because I was terrified that I was dying soon of various diseases.

Then my drugs made me numb and I didn't care about socializing or dating anymore, so there was little motivation to work. My psychiatrist put me on disability a couple of years ago.

Anyway I've always had this procrastination problem. Even today I barely did anything. These days I'm thinking of volunteer work, which I can do, but I just lack motivation when the day begins.

If anyone can relate to any of this, feel free to respond.
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Default Aug 27, 2020 at 12:16 AM
  #2
I have a dead end job. I'm on medical advice from my psychiatrist limiting me to 4 days a week, and still sometimes I call in sick 1 day per week. My job is deeply unfulfilling and unpleasant. I have my writing, but sometimes that seems hopeless as well. At work I often spend extended periods of time doing very little. No one cares if I work hard or not. It's hard to describe exactly but when it's deeply unpleasant to work it becomes hard to physically move or think, which is what you would expect from depression generally. My employer is aware of my mental health concerns however, and they're generally tolerant and understanding. But I feel like I'm trapped in a meaningless job.
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Default Sep 04, 2020 at 04:59 AM
  #3
My doctor back home refused to allow me to go on disability. I now work about a little over 20 hours a week and am hoping to increase these hours per week. I like my job and am glad I was never on disability because it would have robbed my motivation to work. I like working but am barely eking by financially but can increase my hours to earn more money. I would like to become independent financially so will continue working as much as possible. I think I was doing worse when I was not working because I had no purpose. But, I got ill two years ago and needed time off and did nothing during this time. I could have stayed at home but realized there is no life staying at home and not working. So, for now I am doing well. I am grateful for my job and my current health. To take care of oneself is a big responsibility in itself but to work as well gives one purpose in life.
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