People not truly liking where they work

Oct 11, 2020 at 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

...Your boss (to me) is one of the most important aspects of a job. I've basically hated every job because I've had such terrible bosses ....

Couldn't agree more. Surveys show that most employees quit their jobs because of their supervisor and/or manager, and not because of money. I think supervisors and managers are put there without proper training and they are chosen for the wrong skills, and when they are put there they become authoritative and closed minded to others who are low in rank. For example, I have a supervisor who is very detached from her employees at the personal level. She doesn't know anything about them, and she doesn't want to. She would walk in on you in the kitchen and not even acknowledge you, not even with a short look and a nod

, let alone strike a small talk, yet when it's time to distribute tasks under the manager's eyes, she is polite and greeting you ... etc. It's difficult to reconcile the two faces. I feel she's using me as a means like a robot without proper acknowledgment to me as a human being first. Even when I finish tasks, she doesn't thank me. Just "here is your next task" ... etc

rdgrad15 · Oct 11, 2020 at 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

It sure does.

The last time I liked a job was in 2014, and that was a brief position for just eight months. Even that job was hard because it was very high pressured and very stressful. But I liked my boss and coworkers, which made the stress more tolerable.

I'm glad you liked that job. Good jobs are hard to come by. I like the job I'm in right now, the job itself is perfectly fine. I just don't care for my coworkers and how cliquy and exclusive they are.

rdgrad15 · Oct 11, 2020 at 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diurnal

Couldn't agree more. Surveys show that most employees quit their jobs because of their supervisor and/or manager, and not because of money. I think supervisors and managers are put there without proper training and they are chosen for the wrong skills, and when they are put there they become authoritative and closed minded to others who are low in rank. For example, I have a supervisor who is very detached from her employees at the personal level. She doesn't know anything about them, and she doesn't want to. She would walk in on you in the kitchen and not even acknowledge you, not even with a short look and a nod

, let alone strike a small talk, yet when it's time to distribute tasks under the manager's eyes, she is polite and greeting you ... etc. It's difficult to reconcile the two faces. I feel she's using me as a means like a robot without proper acknowledgment to me as a human being first. Even when I finish tasks, she doesn't thank me. Just "here is your next task" ... etc

Sounds like that boss took the whole being professional to an extreme level. I do understand why some people may not want to discuss things that involve non-work activities or other things in their lives. I'll be honest, I'm sort of like that myself since I believe no one truly cares or wants to hear. But engaging in small talk to relieve some awkwardness and create a more balanced environment is key to a more positive work environment.

One thing I've observed is that people are more willing to talk about the happy stuff that is happening in their lives. Like weddings, graduations, other special events. It's when things get bad when people tend to clam up and say they are just going through personal issues. I'm more like that as well. In the rare times I do open up, I'm more willing to talk about the good stuff and hide the bad. I even keep funerals to myself. Keeping things completely work related can create awkwardness, which seems to be the case at your previous job.

Have Hope · Oct 11, 2020 at 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

I'm glad you liked that job. Good jobs are hard to come by. I like the job I'm in right now, the job itself is perfectly fine. I just don't care for my coworkers and how cliquy and exclusive they are.

Cliques and exclusivity are not fun to deal with. I completely understand. It makes one feel like an outsider, and that's tough. We spend a lot of hours at work, and it's nice when we can feel a part of the team and have a sense of camaraderie. At least you like the work that you do - that's a huge plus.

I worked for a very small, close-knit family-run organization once and talk about feeling like an outsider. I was not a part of the family. The two other employees (part-time) were orphans that this family kind of took in as their own. So I was the outsider and it was really uncomfortable for me. I lasted one year in that job. It was my very first office job in my twenties. It was a lonely experience, so I feel for you.

Have Hope · Oct 11, 2020 at 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diurnal

Couldn't agree more. Surveys show that most employees quit their jobs because of their supervisor and/or manager, and not because of money. I think supervisors and managers are put there without proper training and they are chosen for the wrong skills, and when they are put there they become authoritative and closed minded to others who are low in rank. For example, I have a supervisor who is very detached from her employees at the personal level. She doesn't know anything about them, and she doesn't want to. She would walk in on you in the kitchen and not even acknowledge you, not even with a short look and a nod

, let alone strike a small talk, yet when it's time to distribute tasks under the manager's eyes, she is polite and greeting you ... etc. It's difficult to reconcile the two faces. I feel she's using me as a means like a robot without proper acknowledgment to me as a human being first. Even when I finish tasks, she doesn't thank me. Just "here is your next task" ... etc

Yes, agreed.

Your supervisor sounds contradictory and yes, robotic. How can a manager ignore the human element of relating to their employees? That's not a good leader in my opinion - to just be a taskmaster and nothing more. A good leader inspires and motivates their employees - and should be approachable. And that involves also being able to relate to them on the human level.

So many leaders are inept in their roles. I think every manager should be required to take a management class.

One boss I had was SO terrible, all of us employees approached our union president with a list of legitimate gripes. As a result, the company required that our boss take a leadership course. I left the organization before seeing the results of that course.

rdgrad15 · Oct 11, 2020 at 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Cliques and exclusivity are not fun to deal with. I completely understand. It makes one feel like an outsider, and that's tough. We spend a lot of hours at work, and it's nice when we can feel a part of the team and have a sense of camaraderie. At least you like the work that you do - that's a huge plus.

I worked for a very small, close-knit family-run organization once and talk about feeling like an outsider. I was not a part of the family. The two other employees (part-time) were orphans that this family kind of took in as their own. So I was the outsider and it was really uncomfortable for me. I lasted one year in that job. It was my very first office job in my twenties. It was a lonely experience, so I feel for you.

I'm sorry you had to experience that at your job. I'm glad you were able to move on from them. They sound like a cliquy group.

rdgrad15 · Oct 11, 2020 at 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Yes, agreed.

Your supervisor sounds contradictory and yes, robotic. How can a manager ignore the human element of relating to their employees? That's not a good leader in my opinion - to just be a taskmaster and nothing more. A good leader inspires and motivates their employees - and should be approachable. And that involves also being able to relate to them on the human level.

So many leaders are inept in their roles. I think every manager should be required to take a management class.

One boss I had was SO terrible, all of us employees approached our union president with a list of legitimate gripes. As a result, the company required that our boss take a leadership course. I left the organization before seeing the results of that course.

I do agree that a lot of managers lack the proper skills to lead. Either that or they may be afraid to as well. At my work, I'm the only one who is younger than my supervisor. We are in our 30's. Everyone else is in their 40's, 50's, and 60's so she is not one to say anything if they are being lazy or doing something they shouldn't. She is a nice person, I have no personal issues with her, but she does seem to not be very assertive.

Have Hope · Oct 11, 2020 at 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

I do agree that a lot of managers lack the proper skills to lead. Either that or they may be afraid to as well. At my work, I'm the only one who is younger than my supervisor. We are in our 30's. Everyone else is in their 40's, 50's, and 60's so she is not one to say anything if they are being lazy or doing something they shouldn't. She is a nice person, I have no personal issues with her, but she does seem to not be very assertive.

Oh that's tough. Must be tough on her to be managing older employees. I would imagine it would be more challenging to assert oneself. Also, culturally speaking, females have a tougher time being assertive at work. We're generally not taught to be assertive, at least in the United States, and if we are assertive, then we're viewed as a big B as opposed to just being good at our jobs or trying to get the job done.

Oct 11, 2020 at 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Sounds like that boss took the whole being professional to an extreme level. I do understand why some people may not want to discuss things that involve non-work activities or other things in their lives. I'll be honest, I'm sort of like that myself since I believe no one truly cares or wants to hear. But engaging in small talk to relieve some awkwardness and create a more balanced environment is key to a more positive work environment.

One thing I've observed is that people are more willing to talk about the happy stuff that is happening in their lives. Like weddings, graduations, other special events. It's when things get bad when people tend to clam up and say they are just going through personal issues. I'm more like that as well. In the rare times I do open up, I'm more willing to talk about the good stuff and hide the bad. I even keep funerals to myself. Keeping things completely work related can create awkwardness, which seems to be the case at your previous job.

I don't expect her to discuss her personal live. I don't discuss my personal life at work, either, yet I engage with my colleagues when I see them in the kitchen or when we have a team lunch, and I am not that sociable. I think you are right, she has taken professionalism to an extreme level, which isn't a good thing.

Oct 11, 2020 at 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

... A good leader inspires and motivates their employees - and should be approachable...

True. This is completely absent in the management team. They don't care to cultivate their employees and build them up. They just monitor what they do and make decisions with no real-time feedback for improvement, and when I ask for a feedback, I am told that they will let me know if they are not happy with something!!

Oct 11, 2020 at 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

I do agree that a lot of managers lack the proper skills to lead. Either that or they may be afraid to as well. At my work, I'm the only one who is younger than my supervisor. We are in our 30's. Everyone else is in their 40's, 50's, and 60's so she is not one to say anything if they are being lazy or doing something they shouldn't. She is a nice person, I have no personal issues with her, but she does seem to not be very assertive.

I am older than my supervisor, but I respect whatever she says when she does, I have no issue with this. Having said this, I don't like her leadership style. Maybe she is timid but I feel she is secretive in that she is not proactively engaging in direct conversations and set clear goals and expectations with her employees, and she doesn't give continuous feedback, but she is very quick to report what she doesn't like to the manager. I don't think age should be an issue for a leader and for an employee. I wouldn't listen to an older rude supervisor as I would to a younger but nice supervisor. All the supervisors I had in the past were older but they were nice. My current supervisor is younger and seems to be nice as a person, but she very secretive and reserved, and I don't think these qualities are fit for a supervisor who motivates their employees.

Have Hope · Oct 11, 2020 at 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diurnal

True. This is completely absent in the management team. They don't care to cultivate their employees and build them up. They just monitor what they do and make decisions with no real-time feedback for improvement, and when I ask for a feedback, I am told that they will let me know if they are not happy with something!!

That would be really frustrating. Ugh.

rdgrad15 · Oct 11, 2020 at 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Oh that's tough. Must be tough on her to be managing older employees. I would imagine it would be more challenging to assert oneself. Also, culturally speaking, females have a tougher time being assertive at work. We're generally not taught to be assertive, at least in the United States, and if we are assertive, then we're viewed as a big B as opposed to just being good at our jobs or trying to get the job done.

Yep exactly. It is definitely tougher. I still treater her like she is a superior because even though she may not say anything, she could still report any kind of behavior to HR. Some of my coworkers don’t seem to realize that. They seem to think they know it all and are truly superior. In fact, if anyone is condescending to me in a bossy like way, it is always from a coworker. Not from my supervisor.

rdgrad15 · Oct 11, 2020 at 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diurnal

I don't expect her to discuss her personal live. I don't discuss my personal life at work, either, yet I engage with my colleagues when I see them in the kitchen or when we have a team lunch, and I am not that sociable. I think you are right, she has taken professionalism to an extreme level, which isn't a good thing.

Yep I totally agree with you. From what I understand, that kind of behavior could actually backfire on you and cause issues in the long run.

rdgrad15 · Oct 11, 2020 at 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diurnal

True. This is completely absent in the management team. They don't care to cultivate their employees and build them up. They just monitor what they do and make decisions with no real-time feedback for improvement, and when I ask for a feedback, I am told that they will let me know if they are not happy with something!!

Yep I agree. I associate HR managers to basically be people who simply hire and fire people, not much in between.

rdgrad15 · Oct 11, 2020 at 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diurnal

I am older than my supervisor, but I respect whatever she says when she does, I have no issue with this. Having said this, I don't like her leadership style. Maybe she is timid but I feel she is secretive in that she is not proactively engaging in direct conversations and set clear goals and expectations with her employees, and she doesn't give continuous feedback, but she is very quick to report what she doesn't like to the manager. I don't think age should be an issue for a leader and for an employee. I wouldn't listen to an older rude supervisor as I would to a younger but nice supervisor. All the supervisors I had in the past were older but they were nice. My current supervisor is younger and seems to be nice as a person, but she very secretive and reserved, and I don't think these qualities are fit for a supervisor who motivates their employees.

Yep. Age shouldn’t matter. And yeah, unfortunately some supervisors are a bit too reserved.

rdgrad15 · Oct 11, 2020 at 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

That would be really frustrating. Ugh.

I agree.

Have Hope · Oct 12, 2020 at 06:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Yep exactly. It is definitely tougher. I still treater her like she is a superior because even though she may not say anything, she could still report any kind of behavior to HR. Some of my coworkers don’t seem to realize that. They seem to think they know it all and are truly superior. In fact, if anyone is condescending to me in a bossy like way, it is always from a coworker. Not from my supervisor.

That's a tough dynamic. I wouldn't like it if a coworker was bossy towards me. I'd probably take great offense to that. No one should be unless they're the boss.

rdgrad15 · Oct 12, 2020 at 06:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

That's a tough dynamic. I wouldn't like it if a coworker was bossy towards me. I'd probably take great offense to that. No one should be unless they're the boss.

Yep I totally agree. Either that or they treat me like I’m stupid or like something is wrong with me.

Have Hope · Oct 12, 2020 at 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Yep I totally agree. Either that or they treat me like I’m stupid or like something is wrong with me.

Ugh - that's not right. Being older doesn't give a person the right to treat someone younger as though they're stupid. That's really annoying. Maybe they're stupid, lol.

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