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Junior Member
yaitso
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Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 21
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#21
Quote:
And otherwise, to be perfectly honest, dealing with someone who has this many mental health issues is not easy. I just don't see abusive behavior in what the OP describes. |
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Member
tevelygo
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Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: Hungary
Posts: 191
26 hugs
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#22
Quote:
Lol he got the money without having to work for it. Maybe I'm just more generous than average then though........... And I don't know how to emotionally manipulate like the random woman who easily got 6000 USD off him. Also. I did get a loan from my uncle before and he wanted an interest rate and that was fine for me (and I paid him back within deadline no problem, I was still able to do it back then). But I didn't live with my uncle for many years and I didn't sacrifice things for them. Again, I was not that American woman who easily got 6000 USD off him in just a few months... ... Also you asked about the abuse. "I was very neglected, already getting very numbed out and shut down living with him" "It was nothing too dark but it was manipulation and I have not trusted him fully since then. He manipulated me into letting him live with me in my condo again. After I let him come back I had a near psychotic break, I had a complete nervous breakdown. He once woke up, took a look at me, said "you're crazy" and went back to sleep." I don1t want to copy out more from my original OP. |
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Member
tevelygo
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: Hungary
Posts: 191
26 hugs
given |
#23
Quote:
oh I agree, I just think I was clear on what I wanted. "Thoughts? On this whole situation. What do you think of him and what would your suggestion be?" I don't have a problem with directness, I do have a problem with it if it feels like they are ignoring my actual issue at the same time. Like "oh okay he did a lot of **** so you just need to accept that and move on as if nothing happened", like it's actually realistic advice....no it's not. It trivialises the issue and its effect. Like I did explicitly ask her to only respond again if she puts herself in my shoes, "But please only respond to me if you can put yourself in my shoes and do honestly ask yourself if you would not be upset or angry or depressed or how you would feel in this situation yourself"" (With your response above I did feel you did put yourself in my shoes) |
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Member
tevelygo
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: Hungary
Posts: 191
26 hugs
given |
#24
Quote:
What made you think - in your initial post - that your opinion wasn't going to be "popular"? That is where I strongly felt you made assumptions |
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Junior Member
yaitso
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 21
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#25
Quote:
As far as your other comments, you appear to be rejecting @divine1966 's perspective out of hand because you don't like how it makes you feel. That was a sober, objective dose of reality that you may want to consider taking into account. If this guy doesn't want to share his money with you for free, that's unlikely to change regardless of whether you think he earned it. Maybe you are just more generous than he is; if so, accept it and move on. |
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divine1966
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Legendary Wise Elder
divine1966
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,303
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1,274 hugs
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#26
Quote:
No, no assumptions were made by me at all . Just going strictly by what you post. And I very much put myself into your shoes. If I was in your shoes, I’d give up on this guy and his money at this point. I’ve met men who didn’t do what I expected. Waste of time. At some point you just got to move on especially if they were abusive. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
divine1966
Tired!!!
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,303
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1,274 hugs
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#27
I totally understand that it’s upsetting that this man treated you poorly for years and now refuses to help with money.
I am not saying you shouldn’t be upset or have no rights to ask for money. You have good reasons to be upset and are within your rights to ask for a loan to be forgiven. My point was that sadly other people don’t always feel the same way we do. He doesn’t seem interested in giving you that money and I don’t know how much you can do about it. Maybe go through legal system showing that you are unable to pay it back due to disability? Maybe just pay him tiny amount here and there? People rarely change. He doesn’t treat you well and doesn’t sound generous with money, that’s just who he is. I feel for you. It’s sad all around but that’s just how it is. He is who he is. |
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Community Support Team
FooZe
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Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: west coast, USA
Posts: 25,968
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#28
This thread is being closed for administrative review.
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