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Default Oct 15, 2020 at 06:43 PM
  #1
Ever since college, I've had a hard time figuring out what I want to do for a job. I don't really fit anywhere job-wise in this society.

I'm 37 now. I still am having a hard time deciding. I think maybe its part of why I've been disabled so long. The indecision.

I will be looking for a cleaning job. Maybe that's enough for now.

I just know I have a brain. I want to use it and work at a job that interests me. Eventually.

I put pressure on myself to figure that out now.

Maybe I should just be grateful.

Anyway, part of this is financial, too. I'd take classes at community college but I already have a BA.

I feel like sometimes, I get close to a subject. Like peer specialist (helping profession), for instance, and I'm interested, but then I'm like "no." I'm not sure its right for me. I haven't done the job though, just took a couple classes so far. I have no confidence either. Can low confidence make you not want to engage in a subject anymore?

For a job, I'm interested in a desk job around ppl, where I don't have to interact w the public. I've always thought I'd be a good translator. But I know I need a lot of schooling for that. Its not off the table, honestly. But my mother doesn't think I should take out loans. I put a lot of stock into what she says.

I've also thought of science. Biology. But I have no clue what I'd do w it. Its just interesting to me.

I really feel like I need professional help with this. My therapist keeps saying I have the answers myself. And to explore things on YouTube. I think it will just take time. To sort it out.

If anyone has advice or can help I'm open to hearing it.
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Default Oct 15, 2020 at 07:05 PM
  #2
Totally understand the not knowing part of what do I want to do for a job/career. Will my mental illness get in the way? How will I cope with the stress? Is school/Graduate/Undergraduate the best option due to how much it costs? What will people tell me if I take out a loan? WIll that affect future relationships? Will I be able to respect myself if I do or don't go for what I want? Do I know what I want?

All of these questions are floating in my head. I have an associates, bachelors and am hoping to complete my masters. What I do know is sometimes... (even every day, moment what ever time frame) I doubt my choices thinking that it is too much work, too hard, or too stressful. But what if you do nothing, will your life improve.????

Yes there will be stress, and struggles, and joy along the way, is the choice worth the time, energy and dedication to provide a good outcome??? Asking the right question helps, but there are MANY questions and many answers.

Keep in mind, the indecision is keeping you right where you are,, DO you want that???

Change is scarry, hard, and takes effort. The change will affect the life of the person making the change. Keeping in mind the end goal helps, and creating a plan of attack helps too. When humans do not know what they want to do, they remain stuck.

IN 2018 I applied for Graudate school, I have been taking classes for most of the time since. Along the way there was struggles, and I doubted my choice thinking "Can I do this, is this degree what I want, Is it what's best for me? Can I manage my "illness" my life the way I need to to survive???" I spend all this year thinking that I was unsure, or indecisive. All it did was bring me to this point, a place where I know what I want, but I am afraid of my "mental illness" getting in the way because I have developed differently then the Normies. Then I think of all the good that my education can and will bring, and that moves me forward. Then I get scared and say this change is too much effort. After I go back and forth, and I'm stuck. Nothing changes because I have stepped in to indesision.

Indecision keeps us on one path, and choice brings us to another view of life that can help us to see and affect change. The change can lead to struggles and JOY. But if you are stuck, then maybe its time to search and make an effort to do something! Or to live in the fear of making a change and being indecisive. Most generally indecision brings unhappiness. And change brings so much more, joy, success, love, health, and some stress.

When we do nothing, we stay on medications, we stay in therapy, we stay on disability, we stay stuck. When we plan and take any action, then things can improve. Letting fear, overwhelmed, and indecision win will bring more disability and increase your needs for more "paid" support. If you work for what you want, and find support who are there for you, no matter what, life changes.

Where do you want to be, stuck or moving forward towards a life that you don't want to leave?
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Default Oct 15, 2020 at 07:28 PM
  #3
I think I'm afraid of making the wrong decision. After reading your response, @puzzclar that's what came to me.

I also question my decisions a lot, and I am realizing that I'm afraid of commitment! (In this area of my life)

Yes I would like to get past this. How?
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Default Oct 15, 2020 at 07:32 PM
  #4
By accepting the "wrong" decisions. It's easy to say,and very difficult to do. Doing your research into the decision helps to give power and knowledge.

Discussing the concept of right/wrong or ;black/white with a therapist can help give clarity too. Eventually pushing yourself in smaller choices first gives a sense of empowerment that makes bigger decisions easier to accept.

Life takes practice, and effort.
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Default Oct 15, 2020 at 07:34 PM
  #5
I think that if I make a decision, and stick with it, like say for example I enroll in one class of my choice at community college: I KNOW I'm going to be uncomfortable. I know I'm going to want to drop it at some point before it even starts.

I may need help from my T and other ppl or I may just need to be really strong and use my skills.

Yes I'm sick of being stuck.
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Default Oct 15, 2020 at 07:39 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by puzzclar View Post
By accepting the "wrong" decisions. It's easy to say,and very difficult to do. Doing your research into the decision helps to give power and knowledge.

Discussing the concept of right/wrong or ;black/white with a therapist can help give clarity too. Eventually pushing yourself in smaller choices first gives a sense of empowerment that makes bigger decisions easier to accept.

Life takes practice, and effort.
Thank you puzzclar.

So you are saying take action and research the decision beforehand?

Yes I think you're right that life takes practice and effort. Thank you for reminding me.
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Default Oct 15, 2020 at 08:13 PM
  #7
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Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy View Post
Thank you puzzclar.


So you are saying take action and research the decision beforehand?


Yes I think you're right that life takes practice and effort. Thank you for reminding me.
Exactly!!!
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Default Oct 15, 2020 at 10:41 PM
  #8
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Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy View Post
Ever since college, I've had a hard time figuring out what I want to do for a job. I don't really fit anywhere job-wise in this society.

I'm 37 now. I still am having a hard time deciding. I think maybe its part of why I've been disabled so long. The indecision.

I will be looking for a cleaning job. Maybe that's enough for now.

I just know I have a brain. I want to use it and work at a job that interests me. Eventually.

I put pressure on myself to figure that out now.

Maybe I should just be grateful.

Anyway, part of this is financial, too. I'd take classes at community college but I already have a BA.

I feel like sometimes, I get close to a subject. Like peer specialist (helping profession), for instance, and I'm interested, but then I'm like "no." I'm not sure its right for me. I haven't done the job though, just took a couple classes so far. I have no confidence either. Can low confidence make you not want to engage in a subject anymore?

For a job, I'm interested in a desk job around ppl, where I don't have to interact w the public. I've always thought I'd be a good translator. But I know I need a lot of schooling for that. Its not off the table, honestly. But my mother doesn't think I should take out loans. I put a lot of stock into what she says.

I've also thought of science. Biology. But I have no clue what I'd do w it. Its just interesting to me.

I really feel like I need professional help with this. My therapist keeps saying I have the answers myself. And to explore things on YouTube. I think it will just take time. To sort it out.

If anyone has advice or can help I'm open to hearing it.
Woven, I'm completing NAMI CA's peer support specialist training right now. I think this would be a good fit for you. It doesn't matter what your age is. I'm over 40 and just going to apply to pursue a PhD now. I think, with all your experiences, you could pursue peer support specialist now, and do that while you figure out where you want to go with your career. Stop putting your age in the middle of it. It doesn't matter as much as you think. As a business owner, I hired someone totally new to my field at 53 and I'm training her. I hired her because of her work ethic and personality. Not every company cares about the traditional things.

The peer support specialist training isn't that difficult beyond the time commitment. I think you would be awesome at it. It's basically doing what you do here on PC but doing it in person. And from there you could decide where you want to go. Maybe like me, going on to Patient Advocacy training or something.

I think you are a stand for psych patients. That's what I get from you. I know there is doubt and fear, but I believe in you.

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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default Oct 16, 2020 at 08:24 AM
  #9
Hi @seesaw My age is not an issue to me. I only said my age because I wanted to show how long I've been struggling with the issue of job indecision.


Thank you for your encouragement re becoming a peer specialist!!!! It (the content) truly is interesting to me. Logically / realistically, yes, I am sure I could be a peer specialist. I also take copious notes and scored a 100 on the first test, which felt great. I do have massive confidence issues, and low self esteem around this, but I like facing it. It's the only way I can help myself and it feels good (it's also painful, but it's worth it). Thank you.
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Default Oct 19, 2020 at 09:23 PM
  #10
Hi Woven, sorry for taking a minute to reply. Not feeling so great lately.

I'm sorry I honed in on the age thing. I'm glad it's not a concern for you. As always, disregard anything I say that doesn't resonate. I hope you will consider the peer support specialist training. I think it's a great way to support others and a much needed service. There simply aren't enough of them.

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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default Oct 20, 2020 at 06:53 AM
  #11
For me, I've always found making a pro/con list or a decisional analysis box (benefits of changing, benefits of not changing, cons of changing, cons of not changing) help me in cases where I'm having trouble deciding or reconciling a choice.

I can understand the fear you have of not making the right choice. But, as my therapist says, we can never truly know what will happen and once we finally make a choice we'll never know the other side. And, when we think back to all the worst case scenarios we thought of in the past and the "what ifs," how many of those actually happened? We tend to psych ourselves out a lot with worry thoughts, and it can immobilize us. Other people have also said that you don't want "perfection" to be the enemy of progress or "good/better/good enough." If making a choice could make your life a little better, or even just offer you more information on what really matters to you and what you'd like to do in the future, then maybe it's worth it.

The other thing is that you can always change your mind or do something different. You do risk losing time, but so long as you're alive you can still make choices and try different things. Even if you find the perfect fit and perfect job or career, that may change eventually. We all grow and develop over the course of our life. What makes us happy now may not make us happy a week or a decade from now. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you'll never have all the answers and you'll never know all the outcomes. There is no crystal ball, and there is no certainty even when we think there is.

What would make you more happy than you are now? What are the benefits of taking these steps? What are your worst fears? What are some ways you can challenge those fears or prepare for pitfalls? What really matters to you, and how can these changes or choices help you live those values or achieve that satisfaction?

Whatever you decide, good luck. Big decisions are scary, but they can also open doors we never imagined.
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Default Oct 20, 2020 at 02:49 PM
  #12
quietlylost - thank you so much.

seesaw - its ok no worries. Thanks for your encouragement.
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Default Oct 23, 2020 at 06:30 PM
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I am lost my self and have regretted many decisions I have made that took me to this point, and only recently I have begun to accept the fact that I need to start over. I think things work out at the end by taking steps and adjusting directions along the way.
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Default Oct 23, 2020 at 09:35 PM
  #14
Update: I've signed up for two courses at a community college since posting my OP. I'm going to have to drop one bc I can't afford both. I may do a pros and cons list before I choose.

I'm also continuing with the peer specialist classes, and am still planning to look for a pt job in early November.
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Default Oct 23, 2020 at 11:57 PM
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Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy View Post
Update: I've signed up for two courses at a community college since posting my OP. I'm going to have to drop one bc I can't afford both. I may do a pros and cons list before I choose.


I'm also continuing with the peer specialist classes, and am still planning to look for a pt job in early November.
That's awesome! I'm really frustrated with my peer support specialist training because it's combined with the family support specialist and 95% is about family perspective and it's to the point where it feels like the peer perspective doesn't matter, like the voice of the person with the illness doesn't matter. I've given them this feedback and asked them to give a more balanced view but they seem to be ignoring me. I might see who is in charge of their department to give that feedback beyond them.

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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default Oct 24, 2020 at 12:56 AM
  #16
Good job moving ahead, Woven Galaxy! Another possibility to help determine your career path is other types of volunteer work as a way of exploring careers. However, that avenue has become pretty competitive because people know it is such a good path to employment. Right now school is great because some parts of the job market are on hold because of covid. People with our disorder often do well being self employed because of the flexibility and control one has.. Others want the structure and other aspects of working for someone else. People change careers often in the modern world. Follow your interests and strengths and you can build a scaffold of experience that will serve you well.

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Default Oct 24, 2020 at 02:19 PM
  #17
@seesaw thanks! I'm sorry that's the case for you with your classes. I'm going to PM you to let you know where I'm taking classes through. They talk a lot about the person centered approach and even if you are not from my state, anyone can take the classes. I'd also be interested to know if maybe we are taking the same curriculum through the same venue. I'm not learning about family support though.

@luvyrself thanks! yeah volunteering IS good idea. Honestly, though, I've been volunteering for a while now at different places and it seems the only things really needed are office type work and things of that nature. Not always. But yeah. In terms of the peer specialist job though, Yes, I will be inquiring about volunteering as a peer specialist before I even look for a job in that category.


Also wanted to say to all, I know I said I'm looking for a job in November, but I wanted to clarify that it will be for a part time stocking or cleaning position. I haven't worked in years and need something to start slowly in with low stress.
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Default Oct 24, 2020 at 02:50 PM
  #18
@WovenGalaxy please do! I'll probably still finish mine since I'm halfway through and it's not hard just annoying and frustrating about the tone. I'm probably being arrogant but I'm actually going to offer to be a trainer in the course after I graduate so they can get an effective peer perspective.

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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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