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Lunatyc
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Member Since: May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
3 yr Member
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Default Nov 14, 2020 at 11:05 AM
  #1
As far back as eighteen,
I realised that if I were
To stay like I decided, in order
To make more money
Than being just above the breadline,
I had to work for myself.
To have any shot at happy,
Or have a fulfilling purpose in life,
I had to be my own boss.
It was almost a cinch,
To initially get a job.
It was never well paid,
Or I took jobs that were not desirable.
Revolving door jobs.
That was the two
Options I was left with.
Be miserable and plod on,
Waiting for a lottery win or
I risk it all to follow my heart.
The heart wins.

Last edited by Lunatyc; Nov 14, 2020 at 11:33 AM..
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Lunatyc
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Lunatyc has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
3 yr Member
7 hugs
given
Default Nov 14, 2020 at 11:28 AM
  #2
In order to survive and get by
I had to go against the grain.
I never planned on
Staying anywhere or putting down roots.
So I did appear, at times
To be aloof and distant.
I was still divided.
Part of my knew
Where as the other part
Tried to get back in the game.
A persons pay packet
Does not always reflect
How tiring a job can be.
Some low paid work
Is still exhausting.
I was physically worn out
From my work.
Mentally from trying to write.
And emotionally drained
From being in a one sided relationship.
I couldn't keep it up forever.
It was make or break.
I didn't expect a second stint
In rehab to be my salvation.
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Lunatyc
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Member Since: May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 1,200
3 yr Member
7 hugs
given
Default Nov 15, 2020 at 01:25 PM
  #3
With my life
I was always going
To have needed therapy and
Anti-depressants at some stage.
I convinced myself
That with bipolar,
A meltdown was
Inevitable at some point.
I probably did
Hasten the process,
But the meltdown
Did not have
To culminate the way it did.
It was unfortunate
It spiralled that far.
Not everyone finds
Their way back.
I am certain the artist in me saved me.
Without that side of me,
I woudn't be here.
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Prycejosh1987
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Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 368
3 yr Member
Default Dec 04, 2020 at 12:53 PM
  #4
True, although naturally the heart is emotional and deceitful. It sways like waves.
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